Ha! And I had the nerve to ask you to still read the blog! I haven't been too on the ball lately...
I'm on the ground in Vermont, or so they tell me, but I think I left parts of me in Rwanda... or maybe I took so much home with me, I really can't tell the difference. How amazing to see my family walk into the airport to fetch me! I swooped down and grabbed up Ariah smothering her with enormous hugs. How wonderful to lay eyes on my husband too! But other than my family, arriving home feels utterly anti-climactic. Vermont is, truth be told, more drab and dull than I have ever known it to be. I don't think it has changed, but I have.
I wish I had words to explain what it feels like to be walking in a sea of Rwandan people, smelling their body odor, hearing their numerous voices singing out sentences in Kinyarwanda. I wish I could explain the thing that comes alive inside when a procession develops around you when walking down the road. "Muzungu! Muzungu!" you hear from the houses and suddenly there are kids surrounding you holding your hand, or at least scrambling to find themselves at the least a digit to grab hold of. I miss that, I miss the music, the motorbus fumes, the polite honking , the kid's big white grins, the warm air, the lush landscape, the busy streets, the night fires.
The jet lag has been impossible returning... I had a few nights of complete delerium. Ri's only upset has been when I can't stay up at night with her, which has been true every night since my return. Truly I expected some behavioral fallout from her, but so far the only thing she has exhibited is trust, love, and joy!
Still nothing from the Ministry. Maybe tomorrow... I figure there will be three choices for tomorrow: either I will know nothing, we will hear that we were approved, or we will hear that they are denying us. I am a bit nervy to say the least.
It is hard to be home without a baby in some ways. I do feel let down to a degree, but I also feel happy with my decision to return during the waiting. It has been a glorious week, and the garden has received attention, our family has holed up and enjoyed each other. Yesterday we celebrated my grandfather's 90th birthday, which I never wanted to miss... so considering the situation, we all feel like things are as good as they could be.
Thank you all for keeping the circle of support and love... what a journey this has become!
Our Journey to Pacifique
OUR NEW VIDEO! disable site music first
Rukundo Pacifique Holliman officially adopted June 19, 2009
We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.
But those who make their journey home across time & miles,
growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them,
are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us
by God's very own hands.
Welcome Rukundo Pacifique!!!
Finally! After a year and a half of trying to adopt in Rwanda, we are by the Grace of God with our new son, whose given name is Rukundo Pacifique! In Rwanda the people have a Kinyarwandan name and a French name, and our son was given his during his hospital stay after he was found by two young boys in the bush on the night of December 5th, 2008.
Rukundo means love and Pacifique, peace. We have been searching for peace for a very long time, but we thought it was a feeling we were longing for. Now we know it was also a human being we were being called to.
Bless this child, he is a miracle indeed. He was likely born very prematurely and left in the bush by his mother. We will never know her story, but we imagine it. He has now a second chance at life and love as we do after a long journey after losing our beloved son, Trace Oak.
Trace was born still at term- the same day that I lost my womb. What kept us afloat in the current of grief was Hope.... Mizero in Kinyarwanda. Hope brought us to search for Pacifique, and Pacifique and Trace will always share a very beautiful brotherhood. With Trace's gift of life and death came Pacifique's gift of love from our family.
Rukundo means love and Pacifique, peace. We have been searching for peace for a very long time, but we thought it was a feeling we were longing for. Now we know it was also a human being we were being called to.
Bless this child, he is a miracle indeed. He was likely born very prematurely and left in the bush by his mother. We will never know her story, but we imagine it. He has now a second chance at life and love as we do after a long journey after losing our beloved son, Trace Oak.
Trace was born still at term- the same day that I lost my womb. What kept us afloat in the current of grief was Hope.... Mizero in Kinyarwanda. Hope brought us to search for Pacifique, and Pacifique and Trace will always share a very beautiful brotherhood. With Trace's gift of life and death came Pacifique's gift of love from our family.
7 comments:
Jaya, So good to hear from you!!! I'm glad you got home safely and you are with your family! I am sure it's surreal to say the least. I hope you get good news tomorrow and, if you still know nothing, then I hope you get good news soon. Thanks for writing.
And I'm glad to hear you are safely home! And wil be glad to hear when you are leaving again to bring home your precious little one! Please keep blogging!
Still hoping, still reading, and so happy to hear from you. Keep soaking up the love and energy from your family, and radiating all the positive things you gained in Rwanda.
Kristi
Of course I'm still reading. I've been waiting to hear you arrived home safely!! I'm so glad to hear you have your baby in your arms and see your husband. I hope you hear good news soon!!! Keep writing!
Welcome home, Jaya,
Yes, reentering the US is a bit of a shocker. We are in deed a drab country. Still, here we are, right where we put ourselves and so be it.
When I returned to the US from Jamaica, I painted every wall in my house bright colors. That was helpful.
It's a wonderful thing that you can wait in the lap of your family after preparing your child's way.
Again, I say, welcome home, Jaya.
much love, Naiomi
Sometimes your soul needs attention before all those disfunctional, disjointed pieces fall together and make a whole. This is true so often in life, but we all seem to be in so much of a hurry that we miss it.
I think perhaps in Rwanda, you slowed down and you listened to your soul. Consider this time between visits to Rwanda, a time of rebuilding and reconnecting so that you bring that tiny new person home to a whole family, a whole mommy and a whole community that have been made better by this time and attention you are giving them now.
You're in my prayers,
Priscilla
Jaya,
Hope things are going well for you. Please keep writing. We are here for you.
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